Holiday Traditions

When I decided I was ready to get married, I did some research on the top reasons why couples divorce. Not a very romantic idea, but a practical one, at least. The top reasons for 90% of all divorces were, in order, money, sex (all facets), religion, and how to raise kids. I knew I needed to find someone that I not only loved, but that agreed with me on those four areas. What I didn't know, was that holiday traditions was a category of concern.

Family holiday traditions are probably more sacred than religious practices. For me, Thanksgiving, and the the following three days, has always meant football. NFL on Thursday and Sunday, NCAA on Friday and Saturday. Sure, it has also meant good food and spending time with family, but the family games, and the meals, occurred around the games.

My wife's family traditions, however, seem to be reliving the nomadic days of our ancestors. Our Thanksgiving involved travelling from one family gathering to the next. One gathering was outside - no TV. The other family didn't have NFL network - no late game. Luckily, the day didn't start until after the early game had finished, so I was able to watch the Lions lose terribly after starting strong.

My question is this - at what point does a couple begin establishing their own traditions? If both parties have traditions - and they conflict - how do you resolve it?

Most would respond you share. One tradition the first year, the other tradition the next. That works great if family's live in the same area, but when one family is 3,000 miles away and the other is 3 miles away, it doesn't quite work out that way. (Guess which side I'm on).

What makes it worse is my wife's family doesn't just get together on the holidays. She has a very large family, so at least twice a month they are having a birthday party for someone. Her definition of family is very broad, too. Last week, we went to the 30th birthday party of her father's, cousin's, son. They are far enough apart in the family tree they can legally be married! It would be one thing if we saw him a lot, but I've been with my wife 6 years between dating and marriage and this is the first time I'd ever met the guy. And, we bought him a gift!

I just don't get it.

Next year, we're sitting in front of the TV in our underwear with one hand down the front of our pants, the other gripping a beer while we watch the Lions lose another one on Thanksgiving Day.